Boyle McCauley News

Since 1979 • April-May 2024 • Circulation 5000

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How We Found Home in Boyle Street

Part Two: Growing Up and Facing Tragedy

We did the minimal amount to be considered independent adults. I went to school for a couple of years to gain credentials. We lived on student loans and his labour jobs. We paid rent and kept the cats fed and happy. He spent some time working out of town and I buried myself in studies. I finished school and struggled to establish a working career.

We kept our home as a sanctuary from the outside world. My paintings were rotated around our few rooms. His writing corner kept collecting more books. I still have a time finding specific CDs. I began to feel a sense of belonging and steadiness. We were a couple of many years with a steady income and a little apartment that housed a couple of cats and a lot of joy.

Then my mom got sick. I threw a suitcase together and went to care for her in the last days in the house where I grew up. I was back to my childhood home in that small town after establishing my own little home in Edmonton. I felt like a helpless child too, unsure of what to do with what had been placed before me. I did what I had become familiar with doing in uncertain situations: I tucked up my skirts and did the work. I took the best care of mom that I could. It was only after that I realized that doing the work prevented me from living in the moment. We are taught that doing the work is the adult thing to be done. I’ve come to realize that recognizing the moment is just as important.

I felt adrift after mom died. Home felt strange – it looked familiar but felt like another universe. He and the cats welcomed me home but I came home in bits and pieces. My mind was always somewhere else. My heart was dragging behind me as I went through the mundane tasks assigned to me after her death and tried to re-establish my daily routine.

Home was redefined. I struggled with my life and with the people in it. I had a journey to travel to figure out what that word – home – meant to me.

_To be continued . . . _

Keri lives in Boyle Street.

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