Boyle McCauley News

Since 1979 • October-November 2022 • Circulation 5000

Learning to Love and Forgive

So I figure that the goal of our souls is to become one with God or the universe or whatever you choose to call your higher power. I think this goal could be stated as living in a state of grace; a state of perfect love. Such a far and distant goal for me sometimes.

The barriers to this state of grace are negative emotions such as anger, greed, lust, and selfishness. Some of us only struggle with one or two of those, and yet the challenge is tough. My own biggest hurdle is forgiveness. And because life lessons work the way they do, I keep being presented with opportunities to learn forgiveness by different people in different ways. As sentient beings, we have hearts that can be made tender by love, and a small perhaps involuntary hurt committed upon us can injure us the most when it is done by someone we love best. It’s often a small hurt that can make us less sensitive to the other people’s feelings and the closing of our hearts to a small hurt causes us to hurt the other person in return.

This is where I have been give an opportunity to learn about forgiveness. I always think that if you can understand where a person is coming from you can forgive them intellectually, but having true forgiveness in my heart has been more of a challenge. What does heartfelt forgiveness mean? I’m guessing that it is the absence of rancour and the presence of love toward the “offender.”

Oddly enough, some of the bigger injuries by people I love the most have been easier to forgive. I guess love is the magic ingredient here. When dealing with people who are not as close to us, it can be easier to forgive someone and to choose to stay away from a toxic or abusive personality. Sometimes all the love in the world cannot touch people in the right way.

So that’s my struggle with forgiveness. I encourage you to look within yourselves and to acknowledge which barriers to love fill your heart. Which lessons keep popping up in your life? I know I will be faced with people doing unjust things in my life until I learn forgiveness. The anger that sits in my heart toward people who have been abusive will one day be quenched when I learn true forgiveness. I’m my own block to this lesson that hasn’t come to me yet. What negative things need to be cleaned out of your life? What keeps you away from a state of perfect love towards other?

Manon is a resident of Boyle Street and an active volunteer in the community. This column contains her own opinions, and is not affiliated with the Boyle Street Community League.

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