It has been said that we regress as we age. I believe that I’ve got a jump on that idea. I find that as I get older, my off-work schedule becomes simpler. All I want to do is go outside and play when I’m not at school, uh, work. I’m not talking about soccer or picnics or anything remotely organized. I want to run down the street and jump in the nearest puddle just to watch the splash.

You know how adults give sophisticated terms to activities? Running around is jogging or chasing after a ball is a sport. There are rules and given manners in which to engage in play. I’ve never been really good at that kind of play. I could do it but just didn’t enjoy it that much. Disorganization is something at which I excel. I find it so much more fun!

It does make me wonder if I missed some vital component of adulthood somewhere. Did I neglect that class one semester, skip the final, and somehow the school mixed up my records and I got a pass that I didn’t deserve? What right do I have to call myself an adult? I’m pretty sure that I missed that train.

Despite that, here I am at midlife admitting I still enjoy playing in the mud. I don’t really view my “leisure time” as my “lesser than” or “free” time. I consider my leisure time to be very important. I am just waiting each day to finish my job and go home to my three favourite playmates: my husband and two cats. I engage as fully in my leisure activities as I do in my work duties, maybe even more so at times.

This has been a journey of discoveries over the last year. I have struggled with my emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being in the face of serious stressors. My spirit would react to these woes with various physical ills and I strained to find any balance. I had to really search to learn how to care for myself. The sense of childhood play led to back to myself. I am, still, just a happy kid who wants to go outside and play.

And that’s good; that’s great even! I know how to find my centre – all I need is a puddle or a snowball or a shoe full of dirt. I take the time I use to watch the sunset seriously and intently. I do think it’s important to ramble aimlessly and enjoy the sunshine. So, although I may feel silly reminiscing about old cartoon shows I used to enjoy while climbing up a dirt path over-grown with saplings and spiky things on a warm summer afternoon, I may be the better person for it.

Keri lives and plays in Boyle Street.