The final personality stage Gene Cohen describes in The Mature Mind is “Encore,” which he says extends from the late 70s and 80s onwards.

Cohen writes: “Despite illness or physical limitations . . . people are still driven by powerful forces, such as the desires for love, companionship, self-determination, control, and giving back . . . This is a time when entirely new perspectives on life can come forth – and as much as adults in this phase are living in well-worn grooves of behaviour and outlook, they are also capable of “jumping the tracks” in spontaneous and wonderful ways . . .The encore phase is often laced with a sense of humour about the realities of mortality and the sometimes frustrating aspects of growing old.”

We recently celebrated my mother’s 95th birthday and if anyone exemplifies “Encore” it is her. My mother has had health problems. Two years ago she spent two months in the hospital and nearly died. But after successful treatment and a month in the geriatric rehabilitation unit she recovered and is now in good health. Both her short-term and long-term memory are poor, which sadly means she has lost some of her history. She is also very, very slow and her speech has become limited and is also slow. We have to wait a long time for the punch lines of her stories. But punch lines she has. When asked if she had new neighbours, she replied, after a long time, “No – old people live too long!” She is always grateful for the day before her. I asked her recently if she was being well treated in her lodge and her reply was, “I couldn’t ask for anything better.”

When she moved into the lodge four years ago, her then-companion, who was more active than her, ended the relationship. But my mother loves men and so during this past year she started a new relationship with one of the men in the lodge. They are perfectly matched – though he is quite a bit younger – in speech and movement. They sit together holding hands and when asked how he is, my mother just smiles sweetly and blushes slightly.

Recently when I asked her what being 95 is like, she replied, “It sucks!” When I asked why she said that, she said she has lost her independence and can’t go out by herself anymore. This represents a big loss for her. That said, my mother is mostly contented. Her life contains good health, the love of friends and family, a comfortable and safe place to live, and satisfaction in knowing she lived a good productive life. Isn’t that what we all want?

In the past year of writing this column I have focused on healthy aging and some of the new information about personality and brain development. In the next year, I will be changing focuses to write about health issues – addictions, mental health, and physical health as they impact seniors. Living longer means new understanding about how HIV or schizophrenia, for example, impact people in their 70s and 80s.

In closing, I want to wish everybody a very happy holiday season and best for 2012. May you continue to live in good health and in a supportive community.

Sherry lives in McCauley and is a block carrier for the paper.