Pets: companions, children, roommates, friends.

My cats: devil spawns, demon seeds, evil-doers, spoiled rotten.

I’d like to think that I have nothing to do with it. I consistently point the finger at my husband and deny any wrong-doing. It’s really, really not my fault. When you get to the heart of it though, I have to take my share of the responsibility pie for raising a couple of spoiled cats. I’m just grateful I’m not raising good citizens that I would have to send off into the world. I’d end up with a mob at my door with torches and pitchforks. Think I’m exaggerating?

Of course, it’s not like we took any action to mold them into upstanding individuals of this planet. I suppose I would tend toward the dark side if I slept for 16 hours a day, stretched out in sun beams for hours at a time and received brushing and love upon demand. We pretty much give into every whim. My husband will actually get up at four in the morning to open their can of food and clean their litter boxes if they so demand. I reproof him for such actions but then I allow myself to be used as heated furniture. If my head were a little flatter they’d be napping on it. They pretty much run the joint. They know it too.

I admit, I’m powerless in the fuzzy face of their adorable ways. The infamous flip and roll is a real trial on my willpower. One or the other of them will catch me walking out the door in the morning and drop and roll and flip and they can almost verbalize the phrase “I’m so cute – how could you possibly leave me all day?” How, indeed? I usually make it out the door but not without a large, looming shadow of guilt. The flip and roll is a very powerful tool indeed and they know just how to yield it so that it cuts deepest.

How, you may ask, can two little creatures possibly exert such control over humans and their household? Well, the little monsters have been our companions for over a decade, and over the course of time they have become very attuned to our personalities and peculiarities. They have learned how to manipulate us on a deeper and more effective level than any human friends we have.
One technique our cats enjoy employing is the stand and stare method. They will stand in plain sight and give off the death stare until we do exactly as they wish. There’s nothing like a little cat hypnosis to get the humans to pull out the treats or brush, deserving or not.

Evil or not, children of the devil or no, they are still my boys, my cats, my little spoiled monkeys. Although they may be a bit of a trial from time to time, they are loved, I think they love in return or else all that purring is just an attempt to get me to open the food can.

Keri is a cat lady on Boyle Street. We suspect that she is not the only one.