Boyle McCauley News

Since 1979 • April-May 2024 • Circulation 5000


Choosing to Change

What is change? I think when some people contemplate what change can be, they think of major life moments like graduation, moving, marriage, the birth of children, and other things that definitely steer the path of one’s life in a different direction than it was previously.

However, not all changes are so overt. Some can be subtle and take place over time. One may not even realize what happened until upon reflection of their current situation, or the past year, or even longer than that.

I am learning that other people can often act as a mirror to ourselves. When we are involved in a personal conflict with someone, it is easy to identify what we find hurtful about the other person’s words or actions. But we can also learn about ourselves in the process. Conflict, if handled well, can be a catalyst for change and growth in our lives.

Projection is common in interpersonal conflict. When we point a finger at someone, there are three fingers pointing back at us. If we pay attention to those fingers, we can learn what we need to change inside of ourselves to make us better people. Likewise when one comes under attack from another. What that person says and does is more about them than anything else. Coming to this realization is a huge paradigm shift that can make one change the way they look at a situation – and how they handle it.

Changes are choices. We can choose to change how we handle difficult situations and how we relate to other people. If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, then choosing to change is a necessary part of our well being.

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